One day at a catered reception for the fashion program at Wildcat Academy (high school) in the Bronx, a student picked up a piece of spinach from the mixed greens on her plate and asked me if it grew from a tree. When I told her it came from the ground, she swore off spinach. There is not enough wondering about why things are the way we experience them. I teach art with the hope that students will adopt the ability to wonder about what they experience and to seek the answers with a set of skills that art-making provides including confidence, diligence, and discipline.
I think I am involved in the wrong type of situations to teach what I want to teach. Or else I have wedged myself mentally into the wrong spot. I can't think of craft projects that I am interested in because I hate clay and I hate beads. I need training. I have a lot of ideas about how teaching works but I haven't seen the ideas in action. Most of my projects don't work. Failure is inevitable in ambitious art but what I am meant to teach is supposed to be cute crafts. Failure isn't cute. And without ever getting to know any kids, it is hard to get them involved in ambitious projects. I think it might be best for me to organize situations that enable interesting things to happen. I don't know if I have the follow through to plan and see them through. Or the skills. I am not a craftsperson and I don't care about completeness. I need the same lessons I am trying to teach. Damn.
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